The Importance of Being Earnest

by Oscar Wilde

First Act

Seventh Part

Scene. Morning-room in Algernon's flat in Half-Moon Street. The room is
luxuriously and artistically furnished. Jack is despondently arguing with
Algernon.
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(Enter Lane.)

Lane. Miss Fairfax.

(Enter Gwendolen. Lane goes out.)

Algernon. Gwendolen, upon my word!

Gwendolen. Algy, kindly turn your back. I have something very particular to
say to Mr. Worthing.

Algernon. Really, Gwendolen, I don't think I can allow this at all.

Gwendolen. Algy, you always adopt a strictly immoral attitude towards life.
You are not quite old enough to do that. (Algernon retires to the
fireplace.)

Jack. My own darling!

Gwendolen. Ernest, we may never be married. From the expression on Mamma's
face I fear we never shall. Few parents nowadays pay any regard to what
their children say to them. The old-fashioned respect for the young is fast
dying out. Whatever influence I ever had over Mamma, I lost at the age of
three. But although she may prevent us from becoming man and wife, and I
may marry someone else, and marry often, nothing that she can possibly do
can alter my eternal devotion to you.

Jack. Dear Gwendolen!

Gwendolen. The story of your romantic origin, as related to me by Mamma,
with unpleasing comments, has naturally stirred the deeper fibres of my
nature. Your Christian name has an irresistible fascination. The simplicity
of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me. Your town
address at the Albany I have. What is your address in the country?

Jack. The Manor House, Woolton, Hertfordshire.

(Algernon, who has been carefully listening, smiles to himself, and writes
the address on his shirt-cuff. Then picks up the Railway Guide.)

Gwendolen. There is a good postal service, I suppose? It may be necessary
to do something desperate. That of course will require serious
consideration. I will communicate with your daily.

Jack. My own one!

Gwendolen. How long do you remain in town?

Jack. Till Monday.

Gwendolen. Good! Algy, you may turn round now.

Algernon. Thanks, I've turned round already.

Gwendolen. You may also ring the bell.

Jack. You will let me see you to your carriage, my own darling?

Gwendolen. Certainly.

Jack. (To Lane, who now enters.) I will see Miss Fairfax out.

Lane. Yes, sir. (Jack and Gwendolen go off.)

(Lane presents several letters on a salver to Algernon. It is to be
surmised that they are bills, as Algernon after looking at the envelopes,
tears them up.)

Algernon. A glass of sherry, Lane.

Lane. Yes, sir.

Algernon. I shall probably not be back till Monday. You can put up my dress
clothes, my smoking jacket, and all the Bunbury suits. ...

Lane. Yes, sir. (Handing sherry.)

Algernon. I hope tomorrow will be a fine day, Lane.

Lane. It never is, sir.

Algernon. Lane, you're a perfect pessimist.

Lane. I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.

(Enter Jack. Lane goes off.)

Jack. There's a sensible, intellectual girl! The only girl I ever cared for
in my life. (Algernon is laughing immoderately.) What on earth are you so
amused at?

Algernon. Oh, I'm a little anxious about poor Bunbury, that is all.

Jack. If you don't take care, your friend Bunbury will get you into a
serious scrape some day.

Algernon. I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never serious.

Jack. Oh, that's nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but nonsense.

Algernon. Nobody ever does.

(Jack looks indignantly at him, and leaves the room. Algernon lights a
cigarette, reads his shirt-cuff, and smiles.)

Act-Drop

   * Next: Act II, Part 1

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The Scenes of the Play

   * Act I: Algernon Moncrieff's Flat in Half-Moon Street, W.
        o Part 1
        o Part 2
        o Part 3
        o Part 4
        o Part 5
        o Part 6
   * Act II: The Garden at the Manor House, Woolton.
   * Act III: Drawing-Room at the Manor House, Woolton

Transcription and organization by Jerry Stratton, for FireBlade
Coffeehouse. If you have any comments or questions, please let us know!
Jerry
jerry@acusd.edu
